Tuesday, July 09, 2013

30 steps to build a cosmetic dermatology practice

Dermatological laser
Dermatological laser (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
1. Start calling your patients, clients.

2. Start calling your practice, business.

3. Start calling your nurses, practitioners.

4. Start calling your treatments, solutions.

5. Start changing your language. Don’t ever say you remove hair with Laser. You remove hair with a monochromatic coherent beam of electromagnetic radiation that permanently destroys hair root. Permanent in cosmetic dermatology is defined as a period not exceeding 4 weeks.

6. Add the term ‘medicated’ to whatever you do or give. Medicated facial, medicated sunscreen and medicated cosmetics (To be abbreviated as BB and not MC).

7. Keep an album of pre and post [photoshoped] photographs.

8. Add US/UK/European to your name or qualifications. A visit to any of these geographic regions is not a strict requirement.

9. Convince every unsatisfied client that he/she is the first unsatisfied client in your illustrious career that extends to n number of years.

10. Appear on TV.

11. Write a book on skin care and claim that you have sold more copies than JK Rowling.

12. Convince your client that he/she has got the required and anticipated results from your treatment and stick to your claims.

13. Have more branches. If you have 2 doors to your clinic, seperate them as North Delhi and South Delhi branch.  (change directions and city name appropriately)

14. Have a branded product line made out of easily available raw materials. Find a local company to pack it for you. Make sure the label contains the following words: peptides, stem cells, growth factors and organic.

15. Your brand should be the first one designed by a dermatologist. (Don’t worry even if you see several first-by-a-dermatologist brands. It is a powerful cliche.)

16. You should have a ‘scientific advisory board’. I suggest your spouse, mother-in-law and your dog as the board members.

17. Do not give your name to the clinic unless you have a really sexy name.
Cosmetics
Cosmetics (Photo credit: My Sight, as You See.)

18. Advertise as much as you can, but if somebody asks, all your advertisement is through word of mouth.

19. Have a website with your photo and client testimonials. (In cosmetic arena bald trichologists and weight loss specialists with a paunch are acceptable) If somebody questions, tell them it is hereditary.

20. Have an attractive theory for all your treatments. Vitamin cocktail delivered to the root of the hair with needles that make them permanently thick and Gold nano-particles penetrating deep into the skin to give anti-ageing effects are my favorites. Contact me if you need more ideas.

21. Be expensive.

22. Be busy and unapproachable especially after treatments.

23. Always offer an expensive and less effective treatment before a cheaper and effective one.

24. Make minor alterations to existing protocols and call it your method of treatment.

25. Claim that you have celebrity clients.

26. Whenever you buy a machine, make sure you are the pioneer in introducing that machine to your country/state or village. Having several pioneers in the same place is OK.

27. Always combine expensive and less effective treatment with a cheaper and effective one. (PRP + 5% Minoxidil for hairloss)

28. Convince everyone that your products must be combined with your services for best results.

29. Have bundle offers for useless products and services.

30. Last but not the least, find a colleague who works more and talks less to work for/with you.